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I want to prearrange and prefund as many families as possible, but I don’t want to pressure them or seem too pushy because I worry it will reflect poorly on our funeral home. Is it possible to create a great experience and get great results? Why can’t we do both? – Concerned About Closing
Dear Closing: You bring up a concern shared by a lot of funeral home owners. Selling in a sensitive profession is hard, and it’s why some people will even refer to preneed as a “necessary evil.” They’re picturing exactly what you describe – a choice between being passive and waiting for people to show up at their doorsteps or being active and potentially upsetting people with pushy tactics.
But why should these be your only choices? Quality preneed should be a great experience for everyone: families, advance funeral planners, and funeral homes. You can deliver the highest quality consumer experiences and prearrange more families for your funeral home, and it all starts by implementing a few key strategies.
Growing up in my family’s funeral home, I witnessed firsthand the value of ceremony, ritual, and gathering. A meaningful funeral can make a lasting impact on people’s lives, and funeral homes are accountable for the entire experience, from beginning to end. The difference between a quality experience and a subpar experience is usually pretty clear.
On the other hand, measuring preneed quality has traditionally been pretty hard. Ask ten different funeral professionals to describe what a quality preneed experience looks like, and chances are you’ll get ten different answers.
It’s not that people don’t know what they want from their programs. They do. The problem is that today’s families are expected to know what they want too. In a traditionally passive program, advance funeral planners sit down with a family and ask them what they’d like. They’re order takers instead of educators.
But today’s families don’t automatically value funeral service. It’s up to us to help illuminate how the choices they make today will help everyone they’ve ever loved start healing after they’re gone. When more people have the right guidance and education to see why funerals matter, they prearrange more funerals.
So my first recommendation is to make education and value the foundation of your preneed presentation. When done well, everyone wins. Families have a quality plan, you prearrange more families, and your advance funeral planners go home at the end of each day knowing they’ve made a difference.
There’s a saying in sales that you should be friendly but not a friend. But if you think about some of the qualities needed to create a great preneed experience– good listening, empathy, and persistence—a friend is what advance funeral planners truly need to be.
Because preneed is not often top of mind for many people, there is a gentle persistence needed that almost exactly reflects that of a close friendship. Obviously, you don’t want to bother someone, but you want to make sure your friend’s needs are met.
I heard a recent story from a field director that perfectly illustrates this. A woman scheduled a preneed appointment, but then she never showed up. So the advance funeral planner reached out, the woman rescheduled, but then she didn't show up again.
Finally, after three no-shows, the woman arrived at the appointment and broke down in tears. You see, each time she had driven to the funeral home but couldn't bring herself to step inside. Her husband had passed recently, and it was just too hard.
A less sensitive or effective salesperson could have given up after the first, second or third appointment. But if you know your friend is hurting or in need of something and they keep flaking on your plans, you don’t just give up. It’s up to you to check in and make sure they get what they need. Similarly, it’s up to you to be a friend to the families you serve and meet them wherever they may be starting this process.
And that's not to mention the many times our field managers hear about families who are excited to preplan after learning that a funeral isn't just about them, but about everyone they've ever shared life with. That extra level of empathy and encouragement goes a long way towards making the preneed experience pretty magical.
Now, you may be thinking that that’s all good in theory, but how do I actually create great preneed experiences that get better results? The answer lies with your advance funeral planner. They should have the ability to connect with families, but they also need to close.
A lot of people feel the need to compromise between hiring someone with experience in the funeral profession or hiring a proven sales performer. This is a mistake. Industry knowledge can be trained, and a talented salesperson can learn the compassion and tact needed to discuss the particulars of funeral service. In fact, what we’ve found time and time again at Precoa is that our field team can take someone entirely new to the funeral profession and coach them to be top preneed producers.
Of course, doing the reverse is much harder. Someone who struggles to close will almost always struggle to close. Sure, they may prearrange families who walk in or call in to the funeral home, but what about everyone else who isn’t so highly motivated?
While 70% of families think preplanning is a great idea, only 30% are motivated enough to do it. Inspiring the remaining 40% takes persistence, support, and talent. Without that, a lot of missed opportunities fall through the cracks.
So my best recommendation is to hire for sales ability first and train for the profession second. There’s a good reason why people say someone’s a “natural salesperson.” They’re skilled at carefully reading cues, providing guidance, and occasionally offering the gentle nudge people need to take action.
On the other hand, someone without that natural talent will often misread obvious signs like when a family is about to take out their checkbooks. Instead of closing the appointment with a prearranged funeral, they’ll stand up and say, “Why don’t I come back again next week?”
You're probably already aware of the most concerning trends in funeral service, and this is where quality preneed can make the most impact. Between shifting consumer norms, people moving away from their hometowns, rising business costs, and "race to the bottom" discount pricing, funeral homes can no longer afford to wait to connect with customers.
Because of these trends, one of the key benefits of being proactive is that you get to communicate your value when people can better hear it. At the time of need, promoting your value can sound self-serving, particularly for families who don’t automatically value funeral service and aren’t even sure they want a funeral in the first place. By connecting with families earlier in their journey, you have an opportunity to shift their perspective about the value of funeral service at a time when they're clear-headed and ready to listen.
Preneed also allows you to create a great experience for your families long before they need your services. By starting the conversation years or decades before a loss, your team can turn the families you serve into lifelong advocates for your funeral home.
But perhaps the most important reason to be proactive with preneed is because you believe in funeral service. Trying to sell passively communicates to customers that you don’t have faith in your product. It’s why business writer Donald Miller asks readers to imagine their product is like a life-saving cure. If you believe your product can truly help people and change their lives for the better, you owe it to them to get it to market and ensure that everyone who needs it knows about it.
A quality prearrangement experience is this cure. I’ve talked with hundreds of funeral home owners across the country who share what a night-and-day difference a preplanned funeral makes in the lives of families. Not only that, but it increases brand loyalty and profitability. Customer-centric businesses inspire 5x the brand loyalty and are 60% more profitable than those who don’t. 1
The simple truth is this: Honest connection is how you sell sensitively in our profession. And it’s difficult to forge true connection while families are in the fog of grief, figuring out what life looks like without their loved one, often only focusing on the next task on a long to-do list. By reaching out to families before they need your services, you can educate them on the importance of ceremony and gathering and start a relationship built on exceptional experiences that they’ll never forget.
Have a preneed question? Please reach out to me at preneedprotips@precoa.com and I’d be happy to answer.
Tyler Anderson is senior vice president of business development at Precoa, a preneed company that helps hundreds of funeral homes prearrange more families and grow their markets. Born and raised in the funeral profession, Tyler appreciated the importance of ceremony, ritual, and gathering from an early age. He is passionate about sharing a new vision for preneed that helps more families across the country experience a meaningful funeral service.